Tom Griffiths, psychologist, cognitive scientist and Princeton professor, concludes his TED talk, 3 ways to make better decisions — by thinking like a computer, with the following lesson:
“You can’t control outcomes, just processes; and as long as you’ve used the best process, you’ve done the best that you can.”
Dr. Griffiths has researched the connections between natural and artificial intelligence to discover how people solve the challenging problems they encounter in everyday life. His 2016 book authored with Brian Christian, Algorithms to Live By, illustrates how the algorithms used by computers can inform human decision-making (and vice versa). The book was named one of the Amazon.com “Best Science Books of 2016” and appeared on Forbes’s “Must-read brain books of 2016” list as well as the MIT Technology Review’s “Best books of 2016” list.
In New York, most couples going through a divorce, although aware of litigation and mediation, do not know that they have a choice of a third structured process to unravel the marital relationship and transition the family through the divorce. Most divorcing couples don’t know that they have a chance to apply Griffiths’ lesson and select a process that can reduce the time, cost, anguish and damage that so often accompanies divorce litigation, yet address the shortcomings of mediation.
Unlike mediation, with the Collaborative Divorce Process each spouse is represented by an attorney. This minimizes the risk that one spouse may dominate, intimidate or overwhelm the other. A safe environment is provided for both parties without the threat of court and that provides a structure for communication that considers each person’s needs. All relevant information is shared allowing good decisions to be made.
The Collaborative Process also utilizes neutral specialists who use their areas of expertise to address children’s needs, the emotional and financial aspects of divorce, and financial matters. A team of professionals is available to facilitate communication between the spouses, helping them work towards the best possible solution for all while making sure all issues are addressed. The process is more efficient, productive and targeted because of the unique structure of the Collaborative team.
The Collaborative Process works to focus the couple on solutions rather than on blame or revenge. That is vital to couples who want to maintain a productive working relationship after the divorce. As a result, a couple who will be co-parenting best protects their children from the negative impact associated with bitter litigation. The Collaborative Process provides a choice to people who want to control decision-making over child-rearing and/or financial arrangements rather that turning it over to a stranger (judge). Keeping the dispute out of court also insures the privacy of the couple as to family problems and financial matters, as well.
With the Collaborative Process, from the very start, each spouse knows that everyone, the other spouse, both attorneys, the neutrals, is absolutely committed to resolving all issues by agreement. Every step brings the couple forward to their goals. Recovery is not delayed until after the court-case is finally settled or tried.
Every divorcing couple should make sure to learn about all three processes, consulting with litigators, mediators, and the specially-trained Collaborative professionals, before having the process decision made form them.
To consult a Collaborative professional, click the following link.
Filed in: Is Collaborative for You?