We blog about helping Long Island families to resolve conflicts in the most productive ways possible.

Apr 18, 2017BY: Nancy Kaye

Divorce: Which Way Ought I Go?

I was recently reminded of the conversation Alice had with the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland by a person who decided to litigate his divorce without understanding the consequences.

Alice asked, “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

The Cat answered, “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”

“I don’t much care where,” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

With litigation, the decision will be up to the judge.  You will yield to the judge the power to decide your outcome, and hence your future.

I don’t think many clients are happy with judge’s decisions.  The ruling is impartial, with little, if any deviation from the law. It may not matter who is at fault, what the other person did, or what may actually be in the best interests financially to minimize taxes and maximize financial outcomes for both parties.

Litigation is like the George Harrison song Any Road.

“. . . We pay the price

With the spin of the wheel, with the roll of the dice

Ah, yeah, you pay your fare

And if you don’t know where you’re going

Any road will take you there . . .”

You may not have chosen to get divorced, but I’m sure you want to be part of the outcome that will determine how you will live in the future.  Collaborative Divorce is the path to do that.

Each client is represented by his or her own attorney. There are other professional team members, a neutral family specialist to help with parenting plans, and a neutral financial divorce specialist that helps in the gathering of assets, liabilities, developing post-divorce budgets to help with financial settlement options.  Different scenarios/pieces of the puzzle are analyzed until the right picture is formed for the couple. The couple gains financial knowledge throughout the process so that informed decisions can be made.  Projections are made so that the couple can see what the effect is for the future for each scenario.

Do you want any road, or do you want to decide the road to travel and your destination?

The author, Nancy Kaye, is a member of the Collaborative Divorce Resolutions law group of Long Island which is an association of attorneys, family specialists and financial neutrals specializing in the collaborative process. If you would like to learn how this alternative to traditional divorce litigation can work for you, feel free to contact Nancy Kaye. Contact information along with a brief bio can be found on the author's profile page. Simply click or tap the author's image or the "View Profile" link on this page.

Filed in: Collaboration or Litigation or Mediation