We blog about helping Long Island families to resolve conflicts in the most productive ways possible.

Mar 4, 2017BY: Neil Cahn
IN: Collaboration or Litigation or Mediation

If a Collaborative Divorce is Right for a Congressman, Why Not You?

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After eight years of marriage, Congressman and former Florida Governor Charlie Crist has filed for divorce from his second wife, Carole. In an article in the Tampa Bay Times it was reported that the Congressman’s divorce filing stated that he anticipated a “collaborative law process” in which the divorce would be settled without antagonistic court battles.

The Collaborative Divorce Process shields the couple’s privacy from the outside world. Whether for politics or public relations reasons, or dealing with private business matters and plans, there are, perhaps, as many “none-of-your-business” categories as there are divorces.

On the other hand, when couples commit to the Collaborative Divorce process, as between themselves they agree to “transparency.” the full, voluntary, open disclosure of all relevant information. With that information, their professional team of collaborative lawyers, coaches, and neutral financial experts can help the couple craft the best overall resolution within a private, confidential forum.

Full disclosure between the couple; none to the public:

Whether a spouse likes to privately view Internet porn, has a cash business, has been prescribed medication for a personality disorder, or has started to socialize as a “single,” these matters are best kept “in the family.” That’s true for both the family that is intact or one transitioning to a “divorced family.”

If the real goal is to move on with your lives, launching divorce litigation with the traditional inflammatory affidavit drafted by a “warrior” attorney looking to place the “other” spouse in the worst possible light, is not a productive way to resolve matters. Divorce is not pleasant for anyone involved, ever. Why would it be? But subjecting your spouse’s business associates to subpoenas and a formal inquiry styled more as an attack is not, even in the short run, the best approach.

There is no place for revenge in court:

For good or bad, vindication and vengeance have no place in the court system. The judge is not going to tell you that you were right, that you were a good wife or husband, and that we are now going to punish your husband or wife for walking out on you.

The Collaborative Divorce team, from the very first meeting, acts to focus you on moving forward productively. The information needed to assess the division of assets, support, parenting decisions, etc., will be obtained – but within an atmosphere of security and purpose.